Are They Deliberately Being A-Holes?

During the last few workshops I’ve been running for my clients, I’ve asked this question “Do people come to work saying ‘Today I’m going to be an a-hole?’”

The overwhelming response has been “No”, then some said with a laugh “Except for…”

Those that said “Except for…”  never meant themselves.

The point is that no-one decides that today they’ll be a-holes at work.

What happens is they assume the mood out of habit, dissatisfaction and reaction.

As do many of us when we assume the worst or are triggered by situations or people.

The trick is to remain or become calm and centred no matter what’s happening.

Why should we be triggered by our own assumptions, or others’ actions and words, anyway?

There’s nothing really happening to us other than our thoughts about the matter.

Our stressful reactions are not caused by what’s happening, but by what we think about what’s happening.

If that’s the case, is there really any need for us to act like a-holes?

To do so probably means we are verging on dysfunction or even mental health issues.

How to Become Calm and Centred (you can’t think effectively unless you are)

Below is a well-known routine you can master easily and adapt to any situation you may encounter.

  • Brake: pause, stop!
  • Blocked Breathing: in for 3, hold for 3, out for 3 hold for 3, in for 3, hold for 3….
  • Balcony view, big picture: Will this matter in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 years?
  • Brain: Use it, think carefully, think rationally.

What do you think?

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