Rated by many leaders as one of their major concerns, conflict within the organisation causes them loss of sleep, stress and frustration.
Conflict between direct reports; conflict about which values must be compromised or prioritised; conflict between directors and the executive – they are constant and troublesome.
The leader’s sense of responsibility and concern about resolution is the source of the stress; not the conflict itself.
Knowing how to deal with the conflict is the panacea.
Here are the steps to take:
- Becalm yourself first. Take a series of deep and slow breaths to feel becalmed. During this breathing remind yourself that:
- There is a solution for this, as there is for everything.
- You are not the cause and you can be detached from the emotions of those in conflict.
- You can detach from the outcome.
- There are no guarantees of success.
- Identify the parties in conflict and the actual issues. Ask them to articulate the precise issues and who is in disagreement. Listen and ask, do not attempt to respond or resolve at this stage.
- Ask them to identify what they agree on. Again listen calmly without attempting to resolve.
- Ask them which values are the most important to be upheld. Identify the values in conflict, again without responding or resolving.
- Ask them to now come to an agreement where the values that matter most are upheld and the business benefits most.
- Step back and give them the space to come to you with a timely agreement, making the point that the people who are willing to compromise to uphold the core values and benefit the business are showing their courage and respect for the values and the business.
- Have the courage to make a tough decision if this fails.
Do you have a favoured way of dealing effectively with conflict?
