Our Blog

Subscribe for helpful insight into building a better organisation

SEND DAVID'S INSIGHTS

For All Former Military and Para-Military Members - What We Miss and What We Can Do About It

February 23, 2017

Blog Topic

In the beginning, we signed up for the excitement and a higher duty we believed in.

Quickly we learned that, also, we were there for each other.

There was no bitter rivalry between us, though we did strive for our personal best.

We were dedicated to our dual duties.

We appreciated each other, laughed at our differences, bonded by shared training, shared fear, and shared indescribable experiences.

There was a depth of camaraderie that we often took for granted.

Except when we lost our own.

It hurt then and it hurts now.

Eventually I became a civilian and re-joined a culture now alien to me.

I saw people making trouble over little things, things that didn’t really matter.

I heard people complaining about their changed workplace conditions, uncomfortable because it wasn’t what they were used to.

I heard of a union strike because there wasn’t sufficient ice-cream choice on the mining company’s menu!

I saw people subtly sabotage the work of their team mates, just for the opportunity to get ahead of the pack.

I saw people being false with each other, pretending to be mates, just to stay ‘in’.

Mostly I saw people who didn’t care or believe in what they were doing.

They were just there for the money.

They did the least they could to keep their jobs.

I feared becoming like them.

Occasionally, I would think of what I could do to regain what I missed.

The skills I was once proud of, had gone through lack of practice, and anyway weren’t needed now.

Except if I went to the dark side, and there was no future in that.

What I missed were two big things:

  • The deep camaraderie.
  • A higher purpose bigger than me that I was willing to die for.

If I had too much red wine I would regress into self-pity for what I missed.

I have now learned not to do that.

Then over several years, certain events occurred.

I met new people I formed deep friendships with.

I became a father again at the age of 49.

My eldest son died.

Then my two estranged children came back to me, with my three new grandchildren in tow.

By now I was a relatively successful leadership consultant.

The jolt of re-uniting with estranged family made me look at what I was doing, what I had become.

Even though I knew my vocation was helping others to be better leaders, I hadn’t thought about it as my higher purpose, something that was much bigger than me.

I know the price we all pay for poor leadership and it is my passion to help leadership improve wherever and whenever I can.

My higher purpose is to help better leadership occur wherever I can, and I am willing to risk everything for that.

It is much bigger than me.

I will spend the rest of my life pursuing that purpose, as well as enjoying my family.

So, what I have learned and wish to share, is that despite never being able to recapture that depth of camaraderie, I have the love of my family and friends, and a purpose bigger than me.

I am finally more at peace and very grateful.

I therefore recommend to all of you who are missing what you left:

  1. Find the people you can love unconditionally, be they family or friends.
  2. Find your purpose that is bigger than you, that you are willing to risk everything for.

And serve them until you can no longer do anything.

Everything else will work out.

(Inspired by Frank L Van Buren’s blog post)

Ready for Action?

Book a chat with David
Coming Soon
Design & Managed by Airtight Site
cross
15585

Want to be the first to know?

Get the latest articles to boost your business

15856
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram