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How to Remedy Broken Trust

June 15, 2017

Blog Topic

Kevin and John had a good working relationship, built over the last few years.

Kevin had a new service he was offering through his website and asked John, his go-to person for website content, to review his website prior to the service launch.

John promised Kevin that he would complete the website review by the end of the month, assuring Kevin it was plenty of time.

A week into the new month Kevin rang John and asked, “How’s the review going John?”

John said, “I’m sorry I’ve been delayed, I’ll get it done by the end of this week.”   Kevin said “OK”.

Ten days later Kevin rang John and asked “Kevin, is there a problem with your review of the website, I need it ready for my launch which starts in a fortnight?”

John said, “I only need a couple more days and I’ll have it done, OK”.   Kevin said “OK”

A week later Kevin rang John and said “John, I’ve not heard from you.  We made an agreement and I’ve had to chase you up on every occasion.  I’ve given you all the trust I can.   You are off the task and I’ve given it to someone else.  You’ve broken my trust in you. I’ll get back to you when I can.”

How would you feel if you were John?

John realised he’d broken valuable trust.

He went to his coach and explained what had happened.

During the coach’s questioning John admitted he had been overwhelmed with work and hadn’t the foresight or courage to deal honestly with Kevin.

His coach asked, “How do you feel about this?”   John said, “Really bad, embarrassed.”

John asked, “How do I fix it?”

“It’ll take time and effort, are you willing?” asked the coach.

“Yes” said John.

His coach said, “Then take these steps:

  • Send a letter, not an email, to Kevin, telling him
    • the truth that you told me – overwhelmed by workload, lacked foresight and fearful of letting Kevin know, and hoping that it would work out.
    • That you are willing to review the review – websites are a living item and always changing and needing review – for the next six months - no charge.
    • Ask for forgiveness and to meet for a coffee/meal with Kevin at your expense.
    • Promise to never let him down again.
    • State that you understand that it will end the relationship, if it happens again.
  • Ring Kevin and ask for the coffee/meal appointment – be prepared to follow up if there is no response – by phone, not email.
  • When, and if you meet, apologise again.

Realise that you may not get a response, there are no guarantees.

You have acted out of a combination of fear, habits and ignorance, very human causes of what we all suffer.

You may redeem yourself through selfless service. There are no guarantees.

Or you can write off a valuable connection.

Do you have the courage to honestly try, or will you leave it as it is?”

John said, “That sounds risky and onerous”.

His coach said, “Yes it is.  Or you can let it go and risk that Kevin will spread the story as it stands now.  Or you can change the story by your subsequent actions.  It’s your choice.”

John’s coach added “Trust in business is crucial.  Earning it in the first place takes care and time. Losing it can happen in a moment.  Re-earning it is the path to learning how never to lose it again.”

John nodded “I get it.  I’ll do it.”

What would you do if you were John?

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