We are taught to be proud of our heritage, our nation, our community, our education, our job, our house, car,... .etc.
It is the most effective of control techniques.
Most of us are driven by the need to be seen to be “happy” “successful” “having the latest, the best” “beautiful” “on this track” “sharing this belief” etc.
We rarely follow our heart and mind. Just our prideful mind.
All of us need to feel accepted and loved by others.
Too few of us can accept and love ourselves for whatever it is that we really are- whatever that may be.
Too few of us have the awareness to even think of the changes that we can and would like to make.
Instead we steadfastly hang on to those superficial signs that we that think means that others will think we are at least OK, or more than OK.
Pride.
Pride is the most costly experience I have ever had.
It has cost me people important to me; it cost me my health then; my sense of worthiness; my happiness.
Had I reached out to people in my time of need, I now know they would have done their best to help.
I could have saved so much that mattered to so many.
I could have asked for help.
Instead I held back, lonely, frantically working, hurting and hiding, keeping my pride in front - albeit on false premises. In the end I gave up, broken health, broken relationships, seemingly broken life.
Pride is broken.
Humiliated by turning up to a dole queue in my suit and telling my story, I reflected on my situation.
It took a few months before I decided to put aside my pride.
With no hope of a windfall I decided to follow my heart and see where that led.
One of the biggest impacts I have ever felt when I was a boy, was hearing a neighbour – an indigenous man – playing the didgeridoo. I marvelled at his ability to keep the song going, the beat, the deep rhythmic earthy sound.
It became my mission to master the playing and making of this ancient instrument.
I did.
It helped me recover from my $6.5 million bankruptcy, for which I was solely responsible.
Gratitude.
Not pride, for I had been helped by many people, indigenous and non- indigenous, to achieve my didgeridoo goal.
I know that my timely success in this endeavour was not achieved by me alone.
Had I been prideful I would not have sought out and asked the right people who have helped.
My joy of achievement was reflected in the joy of those who had helped me.
I acknowledge to this day those people who helped me.
Pride is not easily shared, for it is selfish by nature.
Those who pander to your pride do so for their selfish reasons too. Pride is spoken of and encouraged by others who wish you to follow their agenda.
Convert pride into gratitude at the speed of thought, and everything changes.
Valued beloved people we knew could still be alive and contributing – had they not succumbed to pride.
Had they been humble enough to ask for help, then feel gratitude and then feel the joy that is shared, they would still be here and contributing.
From pride comes pain.
From humility comes gratitude and joy.
You choose.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
