My client, an officer in the emergency management sector, was recovering from PTSD.
He had seen too many fatal incidents, had too many terrible experiences.
They had affected him personally. He felt guilt and anger. He felt helpless.
My purpose was to help him recover through coaching.
Separately, he was receiving valuable help from a psychologist, who was working on his feelings of guilt, anger and helplessness.
My approach, as a former leader in critical situations, was different, though supportive of the psychologist’s approach.
Whilst the psychologist’s approach focused on issues directly related to the incidents that caused the PTSD, my approach focussed on something different.
Together they helped our officer to recover.
I focused on the power of gratefulness.
I never referred to the issues that caused the PTSD.
I focused instead on those aspects of my client’s entire life that he was grateful for.
I began by asking him to create a gratefulness fist.
“Take your master hand (left or right) and using your other hand, do this:
- Identify that which is in your life you are most grateful for – could be a person, an achievement, a thing, an ability etc. – and using your other hand, place it into the thumb of your master hand. Remember what it is.
- Now choose the next most important thing that you are grateful for and place it into your index finger - remembering what you have placed there.
- Do the same thing with the third most important thing – placing it into your middle finger and remembering it.
- And similarly, for the ring finger.
- And similarly, for the little finger.
Now, look at each of those in turn, and ask yourself this question ‘Why am I grateful for this?’
When you have reached the last digit, clench your fist and become aware of how you feel.
Now whenever you feel the elements of PTSD surfacing, clench your master hand fist and remember what you are grateful for.”
I have shared this process to soldiers, police, fire officers and leaders from all walks of life.
The feedback has been routinely positive.
This process can be deepened and used by everybody, and in different ways.
For instance, if you chose to start your every day by listing five different things every day, that you are grateful for, you will train your brain to go there when you most need it.
Gratefulness automatically creates the best chemical combinations our bodies need.
Gratefulness is the high ground of emotional tactical and strategic importance.
Gratefulness, as a feeling, is the healthiest we can have.
There are many ways of creating the feeling of gratefulness, beyond what I’ve shown here.
You owe it to yourself to feel grateful as often as you can.
