It’s wonderful when leaders are willing to ask questions – provided they are open-ended respectful questions that encourage, inspire and support.
It’s even better when they truly listen to the answers.
But what if the questions aren’t open ended or respectful?
What if they are the kind of questions that Warren Berger wrote about in his excellent post on HBR’s blog on 2nd July 2014?
Warren suggested that there are five questions leaders should never ask because they are negative, blaming, controlling, ignorant and panicky.
Whilst Warren’s advice is valuable for the leader to heed and not ask those questions, if the questions are asked then the poor employee is in a quandary for answers that are useful and respectful.
Here are the five questions and my suggested answers:
- “What’s the problem?” A leader seeking out problems to fix and inadvertently influencing attention on weaknesses instead of playing to strengths.
Suggested answer: “X is the situation and we feel the solution is to play to our strengths, B and C. How do you feel about that?” - “Whose fault is it?” A leader showing concern about his/her responsibility and seeking to shift blame away from them.
Suggested answer: “We are taking responsibility to find a solution. Can you help/support us to make that happen?” - “Why don’t you do it this way?” According to Mary Jo Asmus, a leadership expert, this is stealth control.
Suggested answer: “We’ve evaluated that it works best this way because of this evidence, this return on investment and this cost of doing it the alternative way. Do you agree?” - “Haven’t we tried this already?” Here the question, subject to tonality, can be condescending, defeatist or ignorant.
Suggested answer: “We are doing it this way because it takes care of Y which works better than Z. How do you feel about that?” - “What’s our iPad?” A question based on a panic reaction to another party’s “brilliant idea”, gimmick or apparent competitive advantage.
Suggested answer: “We are considering how to play to our strengths. We’ll come to you with a well thought alternative that positions our point of difference. Can you give us your feedback when we do?”
There is no guarantee that any answer will satisfy an unhelpful question that a leader asks, however an answer that shows the team is thinking and remaining respectful may help the leader to reconsider the question.
How would you answer these questions usefully and respectfully?
