Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
That’s the best we can do isn’t it? Influence another to change. Only they can make the change in themselves.
However, we can surely influence another’s attitude, because we are all receptive to another’s attitude and actions. It has to do with our mirror neurons.
Whether we are leaders or team members, parents or siblings, speakers or salespeople, we all seek at some point to influence another’s attitude and thus behaviour and outcomes.
The easiest way to do that is for you to adopt the very attitude you wish them to have.
However, to influence a shift from a very negative or angry attitude to very positive or very calm attitude is a big jump for anyone to take.
If you are being ‘over the top’ in the desired attitude, that probably won’t work!
In any situation where I’m seeking to influence, I display a firm, calm, listening, receptive attitude.
I make sure my breathing is slow and deep.
Focused on the person and their needs, I ask open ended questions in a calm yet firm voice, such as:
“What do you need?”
“How would you like me to help you”
“What will make things work for you?”
“Can we work on this together?”
Then I shut up and listen.
In my listening mode I’m also breathing slow and deep.
I give them time.
I deliberately slow time down.
There are no guarantees of success, because we aren’t in control of them.
They are unique individuals, as are we.
So, anything could happen.
However, by us being open minded, calm, receptive and listening, we have a better chance of influencing the attitudes and behaviour desired.
Like any skill, it takes practice.
You could also deliberately acquire Attitudinal Competence and help others to do so too.
Do it, because it increases your value immensely.
